A lying woman who led someone down the rabbit hole, if you will. Petals referring possibly to the "loves me, loves me not" nature of her love (they are the "plucked lessons of futility.")

That's my best guess. Love the succinctness and directness of this.

Love this, actually. Took me a second read, but I LOVE the second verse. This may sound odd, but I love the way the last word in the first verse (see) echoes the rhyme in the second stanza (reality) - it sort of draws the whole thing together and gives it momentum. Whether you meant to do that or not, or if I'm just a bit odd that way...*le sigh* It's a nice poem - bit confusing at first, but nice overall. Mind if I fave?

Hatheny

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"The problems with success, frankly, are infinitely preferable to the problems of failure." - Neil Gaiman

This week on Canon Crossovers - "Perona: the love child of Rock Lee and Haruno Sakura?"

I think what's strong about this poem is that it lends itself to many readings and interpretations (in the simplest sense) whilst still retaining its unity. The absence of punctuation or clear sentence structure means that you can take many lines as you choose. For example: "dancing in the wind / nobody sees" can be "dancing in the wind [that] nobody sees" or "dancing in the wind. Nobody sees" The images and ideas that recur - the flower, sight, truth - prevent this absence of structure from making the poem sound meaningless.

How the poem shifts on re-reading makes it difficult to praise or criticise any particular part. However, on a couple of read-throughs having 'truth' and 'reality' so close to each other felt a little over-bearing. I liked "verse words" - I'm not sure if you meant it to sound like "first words" but that fact alone does give it a certain resonance.

Thank you very much for your honest feedback. I'm really not sure how I feel about it yet... that's the thing about writing for me... I never know how I feel about what I've written. I really feel like you understood the structure, tone and the purpose, so that certainly provides some confidence in what I had done.

Seriously, thank you very much...

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~Santavez : TheHell.Ru A truly deviant Web Comic - Episode 1

Thank you very much for your kind words. I am glad you appreciated it. Mind if I ask you what it means to you? I am just wondering if the meanings come through.

Thank you!

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~Santavez : TheHell.Ru A truly deviant Web Comic - Episode 1

Your poem gave me a feeling moreso than it gave me any words to explain what it meant to me. Does that make sense? It's not a bad thing.

Your poem gave me that feeling I sometimes get when I'm around people I care about, but I'm nervous and afraid that they don't like me as much as I like them, or that when I try and explain this deep thought I have, they don't quite understand (as she speaks blindness/all I see/hitting truths upon/missing reality)

When I was reading it, it kind of gave me this...I dunno, aura of that familiar feeling. Like what I try to do isn't enough (petals/plucked lessons/in futility/ dancing in the wind/nobody sees), or whatever that feeling is. It seems to change it's definition whenever I try and explain it to you...

Anyway, that's basically what it meant to me. Sorry if it was an off the board interpretation, and totally weird and wrong and stuff! I really liked the poem, anyway.

And thanks for commenting on "Jeska" - that meant a lot to me, even though I don't know you. It was an important poem to me.

Sorry for the long and emotional answer! And thanks for writing the poem.

Hatheny

--
"The problems with success, frankly, are infinitely preferable to the problems of failure." - Neil Gaiman

This week on Canon Crossovers - "Perona: the love child of Rock Lee and Haruno Sakura?"

No.... thank YOU... I think you quite understood what I was getting at and it makes me feel better to know that.

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~Santavez : TheHell.Ru A truly deviant Web Comic - Episode 1

That's fantastic! FINALLY I get something right for once! Well, I say it again, it was a lovely poem, and it really was my pleasure to read it.

Talk to you soon,

Hatheny

--
"The problems with success, frankly, are infinitely preferable to the problems of failure." - Neil Gaiman

This week on Canon Crossovers - "Perona: the love child of Rock Lee and Haruno Sakura?"